Friday, September 23, 2011

Nursing School With a Baby

I googled "nursing school with baby" for some reason and got a bunch of threads with people weighing in on the feasibility of going through nursing school with a young child or infant. There were a lot of naysayers, but also people who said they had one or MORE children while in nursing school and although hard, they did it.

I have to remind myself that my schooling experience has not been what I assume is typical. My freshman year, doing Anatomy and Physiology I+II, GOB Chemistry I+II as well as other classes, 17 credits total each semester, being pregnant for the last 8 months of school including 6+ weeks of throwing up, was not all that bad. I mean, it was hard, but it wasn't BAD. I got good grades (not a single B or A-!). There was never any need to pull all-nighters, and I almost always got 8-10 hours of sleep, and worked about 12 hours a week.

So yes, I know nursing school will get a LOT harder, and as my daughter gets older, she'll probably need a babysitter a few hours a week. But it's not going to be that bad. I have a husband who is supporting me in this whole thing. He wants to make it work with me.

I keep getting a little nervous about what I envision from people's comments. But then when I focus on the here and now, how it REALLY is, and what's already passed so smoothly considering the circumstances, I don't feel worried at all :)

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Odd Thoughts

Sometimes I wish I was beautiful. I sure do feel ugly tonight.

Once or twice in the recent past, I've caught a glance of myself unexpectedly in the mirror, or on video, and been pretty horrified. I don't even know who I am. Being 30 pounds fatter than I have ever been in my entire life, and having seemingly permanent adult acne contributes to this nowadays, but I have felt this way most of my adult life.

Sometimes I remind myself of all the good things I have going for accomplishments. But you know, there are some things you just can't change, and sometimes they become very important for no reason at all.

Sometimes I feel pretty, but other times I see pictures or catch glances that dashes that thought to pieces.

Thankfully, most of the time, how I look does not make me feel badly, mostly because I don't care or have forgotten about it. Mostly forgotten.